getting started

I am a 53 yr old widow, interested in finding out how people deal with grief. The last 3 1/2 years have taken me through a journey I was not really prepared for, when my husband died from a liposarcoma. Actually, he died from the radiation treatment for the liposarcoma. I had gone with him for his treatment that day, and I heard the radiologist tell him that he had "accidently" nicked his lung with the radiation. Two weeks later he collapsed in an auditorium of a high school, attending a meeting I had to be present at for work. He died there in front of my staff, my boss, students and members of the community. It was, needless to say, traumatic for everyone present that evening. Later the doctors would tell me, as a result of the radiation nicking his lung, he had had a pulmonary embulism, which had basically exploded in his chest, killing him instantly.

Sometimes it seems as though this all happened just yesterday, and other times, it seems a life time ago. There are days I can relay the events to another person completely dry-eyed and very matter of factly. Other times, I start to tell someone and I tear up and cannot stop the onslaught of emotions, and invariably the river of tears that follow.

My purpose in starting this blog is provide a place where others can share their journey through grief. I am particularly interested to know how others have handled the need to cry, the healing power of crying, or alternately, the need to suppress the crying. I invite you to share your story, or just an aspect of where you are in your journey to healing. I look forward to reading what others have to share!